Red Carpet Recap: Golden Globes 2013

You guys. IT'S THE GOLDEN GLOBES.

I am a big, big fan of the Golden Globe Awards, for a variety of reasons. Let's explore some of them:

1. It honors both TV and movies. And I love TV and movies.

2. They all sit around at tables and eat and drink and talk amongst themselves so it's not so stuffy.

3. They all seem to be enjoying themselves.

4. It's usually a very fun award show

And tonight? TONIGHT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. In one of the best decisions anyone in television has made in a very long time, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were chosen to host. Oh my good gracious alive.  HILARITY. Their opening statements. The additional nominees in various categories for the fictitious film "Dog President". Also, the presenting duo of Kristin Wiig and Will Ferrell was more than I could possibly handle. "Judi Dench... where did SHE come from?!?" I laughed and laughed.

Well, let's get to it, shall we? 

Angelina Jolie did a similar leg pose at an award show last year. Is this going to become a thing? Cause  I don't think these lovely ladies know how silly this looks. SILLY I TELL YOU. 

Amy Adams is and always will be adorable. This dress is beautiful. It's not my favorite color for her but  still.... she looks very elegant. 

WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE

Emily Blunt! She always looks lovely. The stomach side cut-outs seemed to be a trend on the red carpet tonight. I don't love that trend. But she looks beautiful and she is married to Jim Halpert so we're good here. 

This dress underwhelms me. 

This is Alex Dunphy and I like her head piece. But the dress looks like something in Ellie's closet. Seriously. 

WE ARE EVER SO SKINNY.

Hayden wore her hair down tonight which is a nice change for her. She looks grown up! This dress is just divine and her necklace was absolutely to die for. She looks very proud of her purse here.

Okay, y'all. A leg slit is supposed to be flirty and a hint of sexuality but my mercy this is going a little far. The entire leg does not need to be shown. 

Hello, my name is Helena, and I have a mouth bag. 

 She always, always, always chooses wisely on the Red Carpet. I've yet to see her make a bad decision. I'm a tiny tiny bit jealous of her. 

I love Jennifer Garner and I love her in this color and she has had 3 babies and she is darling.

When she won tonight she said "what does this say? It says "I Beat Meryl!". She did, in fact, beat Meryl Streep, which is something to be proud of. However, I'd also like to point out that I do believe (based on her identical inflection of the phrase) that she was quoting Bette Midler in the movie "The First Wives Club." I think people missed that though and it just sounded like she was gloating. She'll regret it. 

Beautiful dress. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. 

I CAN'T HANDLE HOW AMAZING THIS DRESS IS AND HOW STUNNING SHE LOOKS AND THE COLOR AND THE NECKLACE AND HER HAIR AND HER LIP COLOR AND HER ARMS ARE PERFECTION.

She does this thing with her lips A LOT lately. Just smile. You have a pretty smile. Also, this dress is a brave choice. 

I find this dress to be quite impressive. She looks very lovely.

Now this is just fun. If I were a movie star, I would choose something like this every once in awhile, because I could. If you have opportunities and places to wear dresses like this, why wouldn't you? 

I feel like there is just a whole lot of chest going on. 

It doesn't wow me. However, she would look good in jeans from Old Navy and a sweatshirt. Oh, wait, that's what I'm wearing right now. 

This maternity dress on Kristen Bell is quite possibly my favorite thing I've ever seen a pregnant woman wear on any red carpet ever. STUNNING. I wish you could see the whole dress here but I couldn't find a picture. It is just amazing. 

This is not a good cut. It's boxy. 

You forgot your cami! You forgot it!

Oh, look! It's Lady Mary Crawley! She DID come all the way to America. And what a lovely gown she has chosen for the occasion. She's really done something jolly with her hair.

I'm Lucy Liu! Welcome to my garden party!

Um.... hi? When did you come back? Are you gonna hold it together from now on? Can we just calm down? 

Skinny skinny skinny. I like her hair this length.

She is such a pretty lady.

Not my favorite. I'm not even entirely sure why she was there?

Olivia Pope is wearing a beautiful dress but I wish she had worn her hair up. 

"That's what's happening around the country, here's what's going on in your neck of the PLAID JACKET"

Y'all. If you could see this close up, you would see that it is a hot mess and the flowers are 3D and actually pop off the dress like a pop-up Hallmark card. WHAT. WHY. 

Pretty, pretty color!

T-Swift came with a mission to look like a grown-up girl bombshell that is totally over her most recent boyfriend and they are never ever getting back together. Jen the Newlywed would like to tell Taylor to stop dating 18 year old boys. They are not who you are looking for. Promise. 

There ya have it, folks. After looking at all these lovely dresses and beautiful people with their toned arms and long and lean figures, I'm absolutely, without a doubt going to give some serious consideration to thinking about doing some crunches someday in 2013.