1. When I was in junior high and my sister Jaclyn was in high school, she was driving us up to the church in her cute little purple Saturn. As we turned onto a dirt driveway, we were startled when a rusty old chain slammed onto the hood of her car. We hadn't seen the chain since it was the same color as the dirt. Well, after we screamed for 20 seconds, Jaclyn asked "What should I do?". I looked to the left and right of the car and decided that we shouldn't reverse into oncoming traffic, that would be dangerous. So at this moment I said "Just keep driving!". Jaclyn gunned it and the old, rusty, metal chain scraped all the way up the hood, all the way up and over the windshield, screeched across the roof of the car and then dropped down and ripped the spoiler off the back. It was a shining moment for us. Daddy was thrilled.
2. In junior high, I had a birthday party at my house for a friend of mine. We were all in the backyard eating chocolate cake when 2 of the boys started having a cake fight. After they were well covered in cake, one of them decided to jump in the pool to wash off. Huge chuncks of chocolate cake were floating around in the pool and I was so scared I was going to get into trouble. So, I ran around back and started messing with the pump until the pool cleaner started moving. It quickly removed any evidence of chocolate cake in our pool and I thought I solved the problem. Until the next morning when my dad woke me up asking why the spa was now empty. I had pushed and pulled so many levers that I drained the spa. He was livid. That was probably the worst trouble I was ever in.
3. Recently, while on an airplane with Grant, coke spewed out of his nose when I said "It's so crazy how we are like 35,000 miles in the sky". Not feet. Miles. I have no concept of space.
4. Did you know that the yellow line you see on the field when you're watching a football game is not really there? They put that in digitally!
5. In highschool, I was taking a biology test when the following essay question appeared: "Explain your thoughts, opinions, and solutions for global warming". I had not paid attention at all in class and had no earthly idea what global warming was. So, I wrote one, brief sentence for my essay answer: "I think we should not do it". My teacher just put a big fat X over my answer and I was awarded no points.
6. There have many times in my life when I will sit at a stopSIGN for up to a minute, waiting for a light to change before I realize that there is no light and I can just go ahead and go.
7. Many times I will run into a gas station to purchase a bottle of water or a pack of gum or many bags of M&Ms. I will purchase the items and then bolt out the door, leaving my items on the counter. What can I say, I like to donate money to convenience stores.
8. I still have to count on my fingers.
9. The other night, Grant was talking about his workout at the gym and said, "I did several sets of rows tonight". For some unknown reason, I heard "I did several sets of rose tonight". We went back and forth several times with me saying over and over again "what do you mean you did several sets of rose? I don't get it!".
10. I was really upset one day when I was in Target and an XL shirt fit me. I was so upset and thought that I needed to have a gastric bypass immediately. Shortly thereafter I realized I was wearing a child's shirt!
So spill it.... what are some of your blonde moments? Please comment and let me know that I am not the only idiot out there! Lindsee, there is no need for you to comment. I know all of your ditzy moments. And there are so many....
