Mornings

I have always been a really heavy sleeper. I mean REALLY heavy. I'd sleep through anything and everything. One time, in highschool, we were at our church camp and in the middle of the night, our youth pastor burst into our cabin in a gorilla suit, blowing a leaf blower in our face while a guy behind him held a huge light and a video camera. They played the footage at breakfast the next morning, and sweet Jenny just slept through the whole gosh darn thing. They couldn't have had that leaf blower any closer to my face. I was probably just dreaming that I was on a roller coaster or something.

In highschool, I had to wake up super early. Our school started at 7:30 am, but to get through traffic you had to arrive at school no later than 7:00, and I picked up 4 kids in my carpool, so I had an early morning. My method was to shower and blowdry my hair at night, sleep in as late as possible the following morning, and then throw on jeans, brush my teeth, change into a different t-shirt, throw my hair into a ponytail, put my Skechers on and get out of the house. My entire routine from wake-up to leaving lasted around 10 minutes. It's sad now that I think about it. My carpool kids that I took to school used to call me in the morning (I had my own phone line) and scream into my answering machine, "JENNY!! WAKE UP!!".

One time (I think it was my junior year) I woke up one morning to the sound of the trash can be rolled up the driveway. I knew it was my dad outside. But I looked out the window and it seemed really bright outside. I looked at my clock, it was 9:30am. I opened the window and yelled "DAD! Why am I still here?!". He looked up at my window, with a VERY stern look on his face and said "I DON'T KNOW!!". They thought I had already left. Oops.

I've always worried about what kind of mom I would be. Would I hear my children crying at night? Would I be able to function that early in the morning? What are the chances that the Lord would bless me with an infant who slept till 9:30 every morning?

But something has changed within me. Something is not the same...... (take it away, Linds)

I've been waking up cheery. I'm even weirding myself out. This morning, I showered, and blow dried my hair, and the whole time I was singing. I've been playing with the dog and taking him on a walk. This morning I was driving to work and having a whole "I'm so glad to be alive" moment and "it is SUCH a pretty day outside" thoughts. A couple weeks ago, I had nothing planned on a Saturday morning... and I woke up at 7:30. Just for the heck of it. SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!

Maybe the Lord knows that He needs to begin preparing me now for a baby. Not that that is anytime soon, but He knows me better than anyone, cause, you know, He made me and all that, and He knows that this could be a long process.

I have asked the Lord to create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. And I think, as a bonus (and just cause He loves me so much), He is also beginning to bless me with a new REM cycle. Sweet.