Grammy Awards 2015

Oh, y'all. Let's just get right to it. There are some DOOZIES this year. 

Ariana Grande. You are a beautiful girl. Your eye makeup during your performance deserved a Grammy. This dress is kind of confusing for me. 

She should win an award for Most Consistent Hairstyle.

I don't know who this is but THE ANSWER IS NO.

BALLOON SUIT?! NO. GREEN SEQUINED SPERRY'S?! NO. NO. NO.

Well hello, Beyonce. Don't you look happy?! And beautiful. As always. Sigh.

 Blake Shelton is fancy on the top, casual on the bottom. He's like a men's fashion version of a mullet.

I want to know if she felt awkward holding her arms like that all the way down the red carpet. "Oh, let me just kinda dangle my arms here so it looks like a poodle attached itself to me. This looks super natural."

She looks like a shower loofah. I'm sorry. 

It's a shower loofah with a belt.

Mrs. Dierks Bentley is wearing a beautiful dress. 

I just feel like he didn't know what to do with his hands. 

Sir, I'm not certain who you are but that jacket is too small for you. But you look a bit like you're not sure where you are so that's okay. I like your red shoes. 

I also don't know who this is but her dress is so, so cool.

Whatever you feel like you need to do, Gaga. You do you. 

 AND SHE SHALL WEAR A CROWN OF BRAIDS UPON HER HEAD.

And then Jane Fonda arrived in this jazzy little get up. 

I'm sorry but looking at Jane, I can only think of Sally O'Malley.

 Nice specs, Mr. Mayer. 

I just feel like he practiced this pose in the mirror for a good bit. 

If Queen Elsa from Arendelle decided to runaway to the Grammy's and needed to whip up a dress right quick, this is what she would come up with. 

I do like the length of her hair. I don't like the sea urchins on her shoulders. 

Does this look like it doesn't fit her right? Also, I'm nervous for her if she sits down. 

"What are you going to wear for the Grammy's, Madonna?"

"Oh, I was thinking about getting a Napoleon Bonaparte hat and putting some fishnet stockings over it."

 I'd like to thank Mary J for bringing some class to the evening.

Hi. That color is pretty on you. But your hair can't decide what it's doing. 

GOOD GIRL, MILEY.

Okay, remember when we had cassette tapes? And sometimes something would get snagged and you'd open the tape deck and pull the tape out and it would come out in shreds? That's what the bottom of this dress is made of. 

 Well done, Nicole. 

WHERE THE HECK HAS SHE BEEN!? And why is she looking like a human Barbie? WHOA THERE.

Okay I know I'm not "with it" and I like to listen to Simon and Garfunkel and I buy my clothes from Target and TJ Maxx and The Gap, but I just feel like nothing is right about this. Maybe they are very cool, but that track suit is wrong in all of the wrong places. 

I mean was she like "I'm thinking about wearing this."  and was he like "Yeah, that looks great?" while wearing a white tuxedo with shorts? 

I just don't get it.

AND THE AWARD FOR THE MOST UNNECESSARY FABRIC OF 2015 GOES TO RIHANNA.

How did she fit that in a chair?! I guess it's impressive but I mean WOW.

I'm going to show Taylor's dress 3 times. Because I liked it that much. She wins the color award for sure. It's GORGEOUS on her.

Toni Braxton wants you to unbreak her heart and say you love her again.

Thank you, Grammy attendees and nominees, for always bringing your talent and your creativity and your crazy with you to the red carpet. It makes my job really fun. 

Have a great week, friends! I'll post soon with more details about our move!